:- Victim of circumstances -:

salam

this topic or issue had really made me teary over the past 30 days...whenever i think of this, it is an indescribable melancholic feeling..

when having to face with tribulations, adults normally would sigh & utter this without enormous guilt as if not grateful for what has happened,

"isn't it better if we were to be kids again, having not to think of any problems..always feeling free, playing with toys as heart desires..we should let the adults take the blame for everything.."

on 2nd thought, have u ever wondered if anything happens to the adults, the greatest impact lies to those innocent kids..imagine their naive smile, their flawless life, their cheerful behaviour..all those will be vanished once they are dragged into problems ignited by the adults. WE, as a matter of fact..

please, adults..use ur brain, think wisely and leave foolishness for good..erase selfishness and instill strength and faith, adding endurance, honesty and to top it all, LOVE..

avoid being such a smart ass..people hate those kinds, as a matter of fact - edited from a quote.

- Info - Read it -

Kebanyakkan perempuan/wanita/ muslimah (wanita Islam) tak berapa perasan
ATAU lebih malang lagi jika memang tak tahu menahu akan perkara ini...
Ilmu Fekah, khususnya BAB HAID yang berkaitan dengan diri wanita itu sendiri amat kurang dikuasai atau difahami secara menyeluruh oleh kebanyakkan wanita Islam...kenapa hal ini boleh terjadi?? Amat susah untuk mencari seorang guru/ustazah/ ...yang betul-betul pakar dalam bab 'Orang-orang Perempuan ini' kecuali terpaksa@mesti dirujuk kepada lelaki/ustaz- ustaz yang bernama LELAKI jugak...(saya rasa ramai yang bersetuju dengan pandangan saya )
Contohnya yang paling simple ; bila ditanya kepada kebanyakkan wanita Islam ;
"adakah wajib bagi seorang wanita Islam menqhada'kan solat mereka yang ditinggalkan ketika haid?"
pastinya kita akan mendengar jawapan daripada kebanyakkan mereka mengatakan:
"alaa...itu soalan mudah jee..bila 'datang period' maka solat tuu tak perlu qadha, yang perlu qadha hanya puasa jee..itulah yang kami belajar sejak mula-mula 'bergelar wanita' dulu"
Jika dibuat pantauan nescaya jawapan seperti di ataslah yang akan kita jumpa... Sebenarnya TAK SEBEGITU MUDAH bagi seorang muslimah nak meninggalkan solat mereka walaupun dirinya didatangi haid!!! sekalipun. Hal ini boleh dirujuk di dalam kitab Ihya' Ulumuddin karangan Hujjatul Islam Imam Al-Ghazali yang mashur.
Kitab yang padanya ada ilmu yang berkaitan Tasauf dan padanya juga perbahasan Fekah yang luas, inilah bukti kehebatan ulama' terdahulu..
Dalam BAB TIGA :
" Fi adab Mua'sharah Wama Yujzi Fi Dawamun Nikah..." perkara YANG KETUJUH disebut dengan jelas dalam kitab tersebut :
PERKARA YANG BERKAITAN DENGAN HAID: Penjelasan (bayan) terhadap solat yang perlu diqadha bagi perempuan yang didatangi haid :
1. Jika perempuan dalam keadaan haid mendapati darah haid itu berhenti (dengan melihatnya) sebelum masuknya waktu Maghrib, kira-kira sempat dia solat asar sebanyak satu rakaat, maka baginya wajib qadha solat zohor dan asar.
2. Jika perempuan mendapati darah haidnya kering sebelum masuknya waktu subuh, kira-kira sempat baginya solat Isya' sebanyak satu rakaat, maka wajib baginya qadha solat maghrib dan Isya'. " Dan hal ini (qadha solat yang ditinggalkan semasa haid) adalah sekurang-kurang perkara yang wajib diketahui oleh setiap wanita Islam" (Imam Al-Ghazali)
HURAIAN MASALAH :
1. Kenapa perlu diqadha solat Asar dan Zohor?
- Kerana perempuan itu hanya menyedari keringnya haid masih dalam waktu Asar, maka baginya wajib solat asar (selepas mandi hadas)
2. Kenapa pula solat Zohor juga perlu diqadha sama?
- Kerana di dalam hukum menjama' (menghimpun solat bagi orang musafir) solat Asar boleh dijama' dan diqosarkan bersama solat Zohor.
- Kerana kecuaian wanita itu sendiri (dari melihat haidnya kering atau tidak), boleh jadi haidnya sudah kering dalam waktu Zohor lagi, langkah Ihtiyat ( menjaga hukum) maka perempuan itu juga perlu mengqhada solat Zohor.
3. Dalam perkara solat subuh pun sama :
-perempuan itu hanya menyedari darah haidnya kering, sebelum masuk waktu subuh, kira-kira sempat solat Isyak satu rakaat (selepas mandi hadas) maka wajib baginya solat Isya' sebab darahnya kering masih dalam waktu Isya'.
-Solat Isya' juga boleh dijama' (bagi musafir) dengan solat Maghrib, maka baginya juga perlu diqadha solat maghrib.
-Di atas kecuainnya (tidak betul-betul melihat darahnya kering atau tidak dalam setiap waktu solat) maka boleh jadi darahnya sudah kering dalam waktu maghrib lagi (sebab proses keringnya darah itu berlaku secara perlahan-lahan, mungkin perempuan itu hanya menyedarinya dalam waktu subuh, hakikatnya proses pengeringan itu sudah lama berlaku)
-maka langkah ihtiyat (menjaga hukum) maka adalah bagi perempuan itu perlu di qadha juga solat maghribnya.
Sila rujuk : Kitab Ihya' Ulumuddin (Jilid ke 2) cetakan Darul Nahwan Nil / Darul Haram Lil Turath, Kaherah.
Diharapkan tulisan ini memberi kesedaran kepada seluruh yang bergelarMuslimah untuk lebih mendalami diri mereka dengan ilmu 'Fiqhul Nisa' ini yang berkaitan dengan diri mereka sendiri!!!

F.A.M.E.

forgive all my enemies

! DieT !

Rupanya tanpa kita sedari, dalam makanan yang kita makan sehari-hari, kita tak boleh makan sesuka hati kita saja. Inilah penyebab terjadinya berbagai penyakit antara lain penyakit kencing manis, lumpuh, sakit jantung, keracunan makanan dan lain-lain penyakit. Apabila anda telah mengetahui ilmu ini, tolonglah ajarkan kepada yang lainnya.

Ustaz Abdullah Mahmood mengungkapkan, Rasulullah tak pernah sakit perut sepanjang hayatnya kerana pandai menjaga makanannya sehari-hari. InsyaAllah kalau anda ikut diet Rasulullah ini, Anda takkan menderita sakit perut ataupun keracunan makanan.

Jangan makan SUSU bersama DAGING

Jangan makan DAGING bersama IKAN

Jangan makan IKAN bersama SUSU

Jangan makan AYAM bersama SUSU

Jangan makan IKAN bersama TELUR

Jangan makan IKAN bersama DAUN SALAD

Jangan makan SUSU bersama CUKA

Jangan makan BUAH bersama SUSU (Contoh : KOKTEL)

CARA MAKAN

* Jangan makan buah setelah makan nasi, sebaliknya makanlah buah terlebih dahulu, baru makan nasi.

* Tidur 1 jam setelah makan tengah hari.

*Jangan sesekali tinggal makan malam. Barang siapa yg tinggal makan malam dia akan dimakan usia dan kolesterol dalam badan akan berganda. Nampak memang sulit.. tapi, kalau tak percaya? Kesannya tidak dalam jangka pendek?. Kesannya akan nampak bila kita sudah tua nanti.

* Nabi pernah mencegah kita makan ikan bersama susu. kerana akan cepat mendapat penyakit. Ini terbukti oleh ilmuwan yang menemukan bahawa dalam daging ayam mengandung ion+ sedangkan dalam ikan mengandung ion-, jika dalam makanan kita ayam bercampur dengan ikan maka akan terjadi reaksi biokimia yang akan dapat merosakkan usus kita.

Antara amalan-amalan kesihatan lain yang wajar diamalkan:

1. Mandi Pagi sebelum subuh, sekurang kurangnya sejam sebelum matahari terbit. Air sejuk yang meresap ke dalam badan dapat mengurangi penimbunan lemak. Kita boleh saksikan orang yang mandi pagi kebanyakan tidak gemuk.

2. Rasulullah mengamalkan minum segelas air sejuk (bukan air dalam peti sejuk/ais) setiap pagi. Mujarabnya InsyaAllah jauh dari penyakit (susah mendapat sakit).

3. Waktu sembahyang subuh disunatkan kita bertafakur (iaitu sujud sekurang kurangnya seminit setelah membaca doa). Kita akan terhindar dari sakit kepala atau migrain. Ini terbukti oleh para ilmuwan yang membuat kajian kenapa dalam sehari perlu kita sujud. Ahli-ahli sains telah menemui beberapa milimeter ruang udara dalam saluran darah di kepala yg tidak dipenuhi darah. Dengan bersujud maka darah akan mengalir ke ruang tersebut.

4. Nabi juga mengajar kita makan dengan tangan dan bila habis hendaklah menjilat jari.Begitu juga ahli saintis telah menemukan bahawa enzim banyak terkandung di celah jari-jari, iaitu 10 kali ganda terdapat dalam air liur. (enzim sejenis alat percerna makanan).

Sabda nabi : "Ilmu itu milik Allah, barang siapa menyebarkan ilmu demi kebaikan insyaAllah, Allah akan menggandakan 10 kali kepadanya"

ChiNtA & AsMarA

Salam..

Well, topik hari ni adalah pasal dua tajuk drama skang ni. mmg tgh hangat la..aku bukannya ape, xde ke tajuk len? nape la bg tajuk gni? ok, tajuk tu kire cam standard la kn tajuk drama gni, chinta and asmara.

tapi...chinta dan asmara ni...name watak2 dlm drama2 tu! chinta name watak utama, which is a perempuan..

"abg cinte chinta.."

"chinta xcintekn abg, abg xphm ke?"

euwww!! pathetic..

and..guess what, asmara adalah nama bg watak utamanye iaitu...lelaki! i mean, come on la...asmara?? badan sasa, rambut paras leher, muka ala jambu, tp..name asmara??

"asmara, u hnye boneka shj, tau x?!"

"sian aku tgk asmara tu..asmara tu, suami kau, ok.."

dpt bygkn x? erkk..

Chinta
: dibintangi oleh fasha sandha dan adi putra
: berkisar ttg chinta, yg dr awalnye dirogol kemudian tah cne sng cite, lps je dr insiden tu, die kejenye mdampingi lelaki tua (mmg die suke laki tua yg kaya&yg dh ade isteri tp ksunyian sbb isteri nye byk klmahan cm selalu bebel la, berleter la, xmasak la etc).

chinta chandurry ni teramat la hot stuff in d market (mmg aku gune pkataan market, specifically, sex market) coz all d rich and wealthy old men want her as she has d complete package of an ideal woman should be i.e feminine, soft spoken, expert in cooking, high sexual drive, long hair, ladylike in attire, always praise and motivate d guys, always worship d guys, always wear sexy alluring clothes for d old guys when they're together, ckp manje2, gedik2..

adusss, x ke bende2 ni mggambarkan kemurahan moral sorg pom?...tp, in d positive side, utk memikat suami, mmg la kena buat bende2 g2, dr bahan2 bacaan aku la..if not, laki2 ni mule la ade je bende yg depa nmpk sbg kelemahan isteri mereka dan mula la kate mcm2, xpuas hati etc..dan berlaku la skandal di luar pengetahuan isteri...na'uzubillah..

tahla, pe info dlm cite ni, pggarapan watak2 nye, pd aku la cm lbh kpd negatif..ne la nk tau, bdk2 pom kt luar sn yg tersepit dgn khidupan yg memerlukan kos yg tggi skang ni, sng2 je can think of a solution to their prob, dat is, go&find old rich guys to support them, in trade of sex...astaghfirullah..

yg cite "asmara" lak, watak utamanye cm xreti berfikir je..ikut je isteri nye marah2, sabar je..adus..cne tah cite nye, aku pn xtau sgt sbb cume tertengok time choti raye itu hari..2je aku tau,hehe..

well, tah la ek..kdg2 cite melayu ni, k gak leh lyn..kdg2 cm xdpt terima dlm society..susah la nk ckp..

para penonton kena pk sndiri la, sesuai dgn keadaan..

d moral of dis blog is...i just dont like d names of these characters&their characterisations portrayed

haha

@ X.O @

X and O

in the tic-tac-toe

can never be predicted

in which box would it be.

which should be chosen

to be jeopardised for the victory.

shall i put either one in the mid

of the nine

or shall i put it in the corner?

undecided among the four

it is turning into a riddle

must i question every step?

it is easy if a match

is really a match.

if a question

is only a question.

and if an answer

is just an answer.

alas,

fate is twisted

by the crosses and the circles.

the end?

nay

it is indeed, a long way

~ D Truth & Nothing BUT d TRUTH ~

Found these useful quotes about men. Read all about 'em. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him. ~Mae West


My theory is that men are no more liberated than women. ~Indira Gandhi


All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others. ~Cynthia Heimel


If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle. ~Rita Mae Brown


The rule in the women's colleges was that after 7 p.m. all men were beasts. Up until 7 p.m. they were all angels, and the girls simply had to learn to live with that routine and practise love in the afternoon. ~Harry G. Johnson


No man stands so straight as when he stoops to help a boy. ~Knights of Pythagoras


Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. ~Attributed to both Marion Smith and Nicole Hollander


Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. ~Katharine Hepburn


If it can't be fixed by duct tape or WD-40, it's a female problem. ~Jason Love


When a man of forty falls in love with a girl of twenty, it isn't her youth he is seeking but his own. ~Lenore Coffee


No nice men are good at getting taxis. ~Katherine Whitehorn, the Observer, 1977


The first time you buy a house you see how pretty the paint is and buy it. The second time you look to see if the basement has termites. It's the same with men. ~Lupe Velez


Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It's the men who are discriminated against. They can't bear children. And no one's likely to do anything about that. ~Golda Meir


Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. ~Jean Kerr, The Snake Has All the Lines, 1960


The tragedy of machismo is that a man is never quite man enough. ~Germaine Greer


All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. ~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895


I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire? ~Zsa Zsa Gabor


Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. ~Francesca M. Cancian


A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest. ~Helen Rowland


When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. ~Author Unknown


Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve. ~Andy Rooney


It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. ~Helen Rowland


A gentleman is simply a patient wolf. ~Lana Turner


Women are never disarmed by compliments; men always are. ~Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1899


When you see a woman who can go nowhere without a staff of admirers, it is not so much because they think she is beautiful, it is because she has told them they are handsome. ~Jean Giraudoux


If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? ~Linda Ellerbee


They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. ~Clare Booth Luce


There is no female Mozart because there is no female Jack the Ripper. ~Camille Paglia


It's a man's world, and you men can have it. ~Katherine Anne Porter


I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink. ~George Jean Nathan


Men were made for war. Without it they wandered greyly about, getting under the feet of the women, who were trying to organize the really important things of life. ~Alice Thomas Ellis


Sometimes I think if there was a third sex men wouldn't get so much as a glance from me. ~Amanda Vail


He is every other inch a gentleman. ~Rebecca West


A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant. ~Helen Rowland


A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she is. I don't think it works like that. I think it's the opposite. I think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent the men become. ~Anita Wise


Women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses providing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man as twice its natural size. ~Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own, 1929


It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men. ~Mae West


Macho doesn't prove mucho. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor


Some men have a den in their home, while others just growl all over the house. ~Author Unknown


How can a man marry wisely in his twenties? The girl he's going to wind up wanting hasn't even been born. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. ~Jerry Seinfeld


A man's home may be his castle on the outside; inside, it is more often his nursery. ~Clare Booth Luce


You [men] are not our protectors.... If you were, who would there be to protect us from? ~Mary Edwards Walker


Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. ~Robert Byrne


Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man. ~William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor, 1601


Men are clinging to football on a level we aren't even aware of. For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women. It's our Alamo. ~Tony Kornheiser


Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard


Some men are so macho they'll get you pregnant just to kill a rabbit. ~Maureen Murphy


Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. ~Author Unknown


On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars. ~Bruce Willis, on the difference between men and women


God gave us all a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time. ~Robin Williams


Alas! it is not the child but the boy that generally survives in the man. ~Arthur Helps, Thoughts in the Cloister and the Crowd, 1835


Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


What's the matter with you guys? The sight of blonde hair knocks you three rungs down on the evolutionary ladder. ~From the television show Civil Wars


The analysis of man discloses three chemical elements - a job, a meal and a woman. ~Martin H. Fischer


The only difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys. ~Author Unknown


A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. ~Ella Harris


A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. ~Henry Louis Mencken


Men feel that women somehow drag them down, and women feel that way about men. It's possible that both are right. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


I like naked women. I'm a bloke. I'm supposed to like them. We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one.... When man invented fire, he didn't say, "Hey, let's cook." He said, "Great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark"... The story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. ~Coupling, "Inferno," 2 June 2000, written by Steven Moffat


There are much easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance. ~Author Unknown


Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. ~Helen Rowland


Men are like a fine wine. They start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with. ~Author Unknown


I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content. ~Jenny Eclair


I make presents to the mother but think of the daughter. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. ~Mae West


Women are the right age for just a few years; men, for most of their lives. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Did you hear about the baby born with organs of both sexes? It had a penis and a brain. ~Author Unknown


There's nothing wrong with most men's egos that the kowtowing of a headwaiter can't cure. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships. ~James Shubert


Men are only as loyal as their options. ~Bill Maher


Stop? I'm the guy. I don't stop! That's the woman's job. We're the gas, they're the brakes. ~Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel, EDtv, 1999


Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. ~Katharine Hepburn


Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. ~Erica Jong


The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious. ~Helen Rowland


I'm a babe magnet... just the wrong end. ~Author Unknown


Every woman must admit, and every man with as much sense as a woman, that it's very hard to make a home for any man if he's always in it. ~Winifred Kirkland


I wonder why men get serious at all. They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodies which goes up and down by its own will. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself. ~Yoko Ono


God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent. He gave women intuition and femininity. And, used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met. ~Farrah Fawcett


Many a man owes his success to his first wife, and his second wife to his success. ~Jim Backus


The old theory was "Marry an older man, because they're more mature." But the new theory is: "Men don't mature. Marry a younger one." ~Rita Rudner


Self-discipline implies some unpleasant things to me, including staying away from chocolate and keeping my hands out of women's pants. ~Oleg Kiselev


Three wise men - are you serious? ~Author Unknown


There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me. ~John Erskine


What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. ~Author Unknown


When it comes to hiding porn, every man is a CIA agent. ~S.A. Sachs


Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is. ~Author Unknown


Imagine what will happen to this nation if large numbers of American women start using the Wonderbra. It will be catastrophic. The male half of the population will be nothing but mindless drooling Zombies of Lust. Granted, this is also true now, but it will be even worse. ~Dave Barry


If they can put one man on the moon why can't they put them all there? ~Chocolate Waters


The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. ~Natalie Wood


If men had more up top we'd need less up front. ~Jaci Stephen


Men lose more conquests by their own awkwardness than by any virtue in the woman. ~Ninon de Lenclos


Don't accept rides from strange men - and remember that all men are as strange as hell. ~Robin Morgan


Men can read maps better than women. 'Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles. ~Roseanne Barr


A man is two people, himself and his cock. A man always takes his friend to the party. Of the two, the friend is the nicer, being more able to show his feelings. ~Beryl Bainbridge


Men are beasts and even beasts don't behave as they do. ~Brigitte Bardot


The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. ~Madame de Staël


'Tis strange what a man may do, and a woman yet think him an angel. ~William Makepeace Thackeray


Guys are like roses. You've got to watch out for the pricks. ~Author Unknown


What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? ~Erma Bombeck


A hard man is good to find. ~Mae West


Men like a woman with a daring tongue. That's a double-entendre, which reminds me they also like a ménage à trois. ~Carrie Latet


Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house. ~Jean Kerr


A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position. ~Oscar Wilde


Women are one of the Almighty's enigmas to prove to men that He knows more than they do. ~Ellen Glasgow


The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything. ~Dave Barry


Men want a woman whom they can turn on and off like a light switch. ~Ian Fleming


The average man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman with beautiful legs. ~Marlene Dietrich


There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that. ~Steve Martin

@ My Everlasting AnthemS @

First fell in love for its guitar chords..acoustic and unplugged, it's so cool to just listen to it..this song was famous back in 1994 or 1995 if i'm not mistaken..k.mi was the one who started humming to it then it got on me..it was contagious :)

well then i started to look into the lyrics..u go and listen it for urself-lah :)

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I just love d sound of piano...reminiscing the time just looking at people playing piano, snatching a quick glance when passing by the rooms at Yamaha School, every time going to my organ lessons..those were the days..now, i need to get my skills back and start practising my fingers to the chords..

as usual, i'd \then tune in to the lyrics..it's the first song that brought me to poetry..

~ 9 Signs that U R HAPPY ~

Your emotional well-being isn’t just about your genes or the kind of home you were raised in. It turns out that some pretty interesting factors—backed by science—play a role in how joyful you feel:

You were a smiley student

Adults with the biggest grins in their college yearbook pictures were up to 5 times less likely to be divorced decades later than those who looked less happy, according to a new DePauw University study. A smiler’s positive disposition may attract other happy people or rub off on a spouse.


You have a sister

People with at least one female sibling report better social support, more optimism, and better coping abilities, according to a study presented at the British Psychological Society’s annual conference. Sisters appear to encourage communication and cohesion in families.


You're not glued to the TV

The happiest people spend 30% less time parked in front of the tube, according to a University of Maryland study that analyzed 34 years of data from more than 45,000 Americans. They’re more likely to spend time socializing, reading, or attending religious services—habits that are linked to better moods and health.


You keep souvenirs on display

People who use mementos or photos to remind themselves of good times better appreciate their lives and are happier, says Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, a professor of psychology at University of California, Riverside. Good memories remind you of your “happiness potential” and promise that soon you can reach it again.


You make exercise a priority

People who exercise more are less likely to be stressed and more likely to be satisfied with life, according to Danish researchers. Compared with sedentary people, joggers are 70% less likely to have high stress levels and life dissatisfaction, the study found. Couch potatoes who start moderate exercise—the equivalent of 17 to 34 minutes a day—experience the greatest happiness lift.


You have a healthy love life

Physical intimacy is a key contributor to happiness, found a study by Dartmouth economist David Blanchflower, PhD, and Andrew Oswald, PhD, of England's University of Warwick. Married people report 30% more sex than singles, which may be one reason they also report being happier.


You hang out with happy people

Socializing with a cheerful person in your neighborhood increases the likelihood that you’ll be happy too, according to a new study. How often you get together matters most, say the researchers: People who live within half a mile of a buoyant buddy increase their odds of being happy by 42%. If the friend lives farther away (within a 2-mile radius), the chances drop to 22%—probably due to fewer get-togethers.


You stay warm with hot cocoa

Clutching a steaming beverage—coffee and tea also do the trick—can elicit a flood of positive feelings, according to a Yale University study. This may be because people associate physical warmth with emotional warmth, say the researchers. Study subjects held cups of either hot or iced coffee; those gripping warm mugs were more appreciative of friendliness in others and also felt more generous and trusting themselves.


You have two best friends

Among 654 married adults, those who said they had at least two “best friends” (not necessarily including one’s spouse) were likelier to have better mental well-being, says a study. But additional friends didn’t lead to any more happiness than just a pair.

* Thanks, for he has changed my life - seriously *

Coincidentally tuning in to Hallmark Channel at Astro, i was glued till the end. The late Dr Randy Pausch had delivered a meaningful speech that melted me.

He was facing a pancreatic cancer, one of the deadliest cancers as it can only be visibly scanned and detected at its forth stage; the most critical stage.

d audience cried and i too cried watching him giving words of wisdom..but he didn't even shed a single drop of tears..

how could he be so strong, knowing he was facing death..he knew he was nearing death and he chose to hold his head up high and be strong..

bravo, randy..your words will always linger in my soul and they're there to stay..

@ So SurReal @

I was in awe and jaw-dropped the whole 5-minute clip. it was as if, " Is this for real?" and yes, it's damn real.

If only this is your wedding, some questions to ponder before the memorable event.

1) what would u like it to be? i.e the theme etc
2) where would it be? i.e ur house, hotel, garden, in d sea, in d outer space (d'ouhhh!)
3) how's the process of the reception etc? i.e the attire, d catering etc
4) how many days? i.e 1 whole day or 2 days etc
5) what's your budget? - mind u, it's d most sensitive matter here
6) i have no more ideas on the questions coz thinking too much on this, makes me dizzy and nausea, for d time being. sad? maybe. insecure? maybe. numb? maybe. vague? yes, as it can't b predicted or foreseen.

just enjoy watching d clip, fantasizing my own magical day :) i won't want those dreams to catch me but on waking up, open my eyes, just to discover it's only just a dream after another..

D'ouhhh~

so, wake up, put ur feet on d ground and hold ur head up high till d time comes ;)

{ Opps }

opposites do attract

some say

but too much of a thing

is really not a good thing.

one will be the king

and one will just say yes for a ring.

life is all about learning, adapting, accepting, rejecting

tolerating and many other -ings.

none can really think what life has to offer

who are we to ask people of their destiny, fate and faith?

and who are we to answer all the questions?

the words we have to spare

sometimes worth millions of lives

the deeds that we want to act upon

do have lots of love in return.

just watch, listen, feel, touch, think

but say only at the right timing.

should or can or will

or must

we be lost

just to be found?

^ Equimistry ^

There lies a boy

playing his heart out

jumping around

but not fooling around.

he grows up

perfectly brained

handsomely figured

but what is there in a face

with a lifeless soul

having too much conditions

in tying an eternity knot

constantly questions

on every blotch on her face

every pound she's gained

every words uttered.

Man,

grow up

in soul searching

that complements you

in harmony

as one day

you will have to be lain

undisturbed in solitude.

# Merci #

thank you

but i don't believe it anymore

no, never

will i go there again

till the wind blows me there

the snow falls down

the echo continues

and finally is answered.

i had drown

and i was saved

i stood up.

anybody who would wanna try

better put d heart out

d feet to the ground

coz i'm gonna play it really

old school

this time around

carpe diem!

< Soothies >

Club Can't Handle Me - Flo Rida

My Response :
Love this song for its groovin' tune. Dance to it, babes! I've used this song as my dance weekly routine :) It's sooo catchy!

Fav line(s) from the song :
You know I know how
To make em stop and stare as I zone out
The club can't even handle me right now
Watchin you I'm watchin you we go all out
The club can't even handle me right now
------------------------------------------------------------------
Love The Way YOU LIE - Eminem ft Rihanna

My Response :
Oh, this song..the title speaks for itself..it had summoned me the first time i lay my eyes on it..liars..i hate 'em...now, i'm just observing of how men r great in lying..go ahead and lie, one after another as it's in ur flesh n blood.

Fav line(s) from the song :
You ever love somebody so much,
you could barely breathe when you with 'em?
You meet, and neither one of you even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah, them chills, used to get 'em
Now you gettin' fuckin' sick of lookin' at 'em
You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit 'em
You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down, pin 'em, so lost in the moments when you're with 'em.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Beggin' - Madcon

My Response :
As usual, i'll respond to the beat first. The catchy tune of this song captivated me. then, moving on 2 d lyrics, duhhh~

Fav line(s) from the song :
easy come and easy go
And it would end
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Airplanes - B.O.B ft. Harley

My Response :
Again, d beat, d beat, d beat..nothing to do with d lyrics at first..but then..the lyrics are o.k la~

Fav line(s) from the song :
I could really use a wish right now
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gettin' Over YOU - Fergie ft David Guetta

My Response :
Dance baby, dance..

Fav line(s) from the song :
All the things I know right now,
if I only knew back then,
there's just no getting over you.
Wish I could spin my world into reverse just to have you back again,
there's just no getting over you

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just a Dream - Nelly

My Response :
Listening to the beat, i knew it's a sad rap song..nelly did a good job in this song. the video clip is awesome too..symbolisms are portrayed nicely..after a while, reading the lyrics, here you go..it'd made me even sadder..

Fav line(s) from the song :
if you ever loved somebody put your hands up
and now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Only Girl In The World - Rihanna

My Response :
Girl, here u go again with this song. awesome and am a fan!

Fav line(s) from the song :
Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world
Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love
Like I'm the only one who knows your heart

! Just a Dream !

I was thinking bout him, thinkin bout me
Thinkin bout us, what we gon' be
Open my eyes yeah, it was only Just A Dream
So I travelled back, down that road
Wish he'd come back, no one knows
I realize yeah, it was only Just A Dream

I was at the top and now its like I'm in the basement
Number one spot and now he finds him a replacement
I swear now I can't take it, knowing somebody's got my baby
And now you ain't around baby I can't think
I should've put it down, should've got the ring
Cause I can still feel it in the air
See his face run my fingers through his hair
My lover, my life, my shawty, my hubby
he left me, I'm tied
Cause I knew that it just ain't right

I was thinking bout him, thinkin bout me
Thinkin bout us, what we gon' be
Open my eyes yeah, it was only Just A Dream
So I travelled back, down that road
Wish he'd come back, no one knows
I realize yeah, it was only Just A Dream

When I be ridin' man I swear I see his face at every turn
Tryna get my Usher on but I can't let it Burn
And I just hopes he knows that he's the only one I yearn for
More and more I miss him, when will I learn
Didn't give him all my love, I guess now I got my payback
Now I'm in the club thinking all about my baby
Hey, he was so easy to love
But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough
I'm going through it everytime that I'm alone
And now I'm missing, wishing he'd pick up the phone
But he made the decision that he wanted to move on
Cause I was wrong

I was thinking bout him, thinkin bout me
Thinkin bout us, what we gon' be
Open my eyes yeah, it was only Just A Dream
So I travelled back, down that road
Wish he'd come back, no one knows
I realize yeah, it was only Just A Dream

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
And now they're gone and you're wishing you could give them everything
Said if you ever loved somebody put your hands up
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
Now they're gone and you're wishing you could give them everything

@ 8 myths about being SOLO @

Have you heard that single people are miserable and lonely and die alone in their empty apartments where they are eaten by their cats? That’s what I heard, too. So I set out to discover the truth of these matters. Guess what? It is not just the cat thing that’s a myth. All of those insulting claims about the lives of single people are wrong, wrong, wrong! Here’s a rundown of the myths I found while looking at the reality of being unattached today.

Myth #1: Singles are less happy than married people
Boo-hoo, poor you! That’s what friends and family sometimes think of people who are single. They are so wrong! First, most single people are not miserable — not even close. On the average, single people are always on the happy end of the scale; that’s true in every study I know of. Second, getting married hardly changes someone’s happiness at all. Some married people experience a tiny blip in happiness around the time of the wedding. (On an 11-point scale, they are about one-quarter of one point happier.) But that is just a honeymoon effect. They soon go back to being as happy or as unhappy as they were when they were single. Furthermore, only some married people enjoy the honeymoon effect. People who marry and later divorce actually start getting a bit less happy — not more happy — as their wedding day approaches.

Myth #2: Single people favor solitude
Sometimes people say that single people are “alone,” that they “don’t have anyone.” But that’s just a myth. Research shows that single people often have many people in their lives who are important to them. Often, they have a whole network of friends and relatives, and they stay connected with them for decades. After all, they have the time to forge many diverse relationships, which married sorts often don’t.

Myth #3: Elderly women live in isolation
Older women, in particular, are often painted as isolated spinsters, but in one study of 50 women who had always been single, 49 of them had close friends and usually they were in touch with those friends every single day. Sixteen of their friendships had lasted more than 40 years.

Myth #4: Single people don’t live as long as married folks
A serious, intellectual magazine recently printed a story with this headline: “Marry or die.” Seriously. Even the most prestigious publications can get their headlines all wrong when it comes to stories about people who are single. That magazine article ignored the longest-running study of longevity on record. That study started in 1921, with more than 1,000 11-year-olds. Scientists have kept track of these people for as long as they lived. The people who lived the longest were those who stayed single and those who married and stayed married. People who divorced, or who divorced and remarried, had shorter lives. It was consistency, not marriage, that mattered, and the results were the same for men and women.

Myth #5: Single people are self-centered
Married people are supposedly the ones who reach out to other people and keep families and neighborhoods connected. That’s the story we hear, but it is not what’s really true. National surveys show that single people are more likely to visit, support, contact, and advise their siblings and parents than married or even previously married people. Singles are also more likely to encourage, help, and socialize with their neighbors and friends.

Myth #6: The children of single parents are destined to live haplessly
These days, forecasts of doom and gloom are often aimed at children who are raised by single parents. To hear the commentators talk about it, you would think that only children raised by married biological parents have a decent shot at a good, healthy, successful life. In my research, though, I was struck by just how overstated those claims actually are. One example comes from the results of a National Drug Abuse Survey, a study of substance abuse among 12- to 17-year-olds. The children of single mothers had low rates of abuse — under 6 percent. And those rates were just 1.2 percent higher than the rates of the children living with married biological parents. Furthermore, two-parent married households did not always have kids with the lowest rates of substance abuse. Teens living with a father and stepmother, for example, had higher rates of substance abuse than teens raised by single mothers.

Myth #7: Single people are not as healthy as people who get married
Think singletons live an unhealthy life of vice, partying up a storm and eating junk food rather than healthy home-cooked meals? That’s not what the research says. Typically, people who have always been single are very similar in their health to people who are currently married. There is, though, one exception where single people are actually healthier than attached types: married people are more overweight! As for divorce, some research actually shows that people become healthier after they divorce than they were when they were married.

Myth #8: Single people waste money on frivolous things for themselves
So you think that singletons splurge and marrieds conserve? If so, then I have just one question for you: Do you know how much weddings cost? Even after the big splash, maybe you thought married folks save up, spend conservatively, and are occasionally called upon to support the more spendthrift single drifters in their clan who racked up credit card debt on fancy shopping sprees and vacations...not so. Coupled-up sorts are no more generous than single people when it comes to giving financial help to family members. As for friends, it is the single people who are there for them. In fact, one study showed that men were much more financially generous to their friends when they were single than they were after they married. When married men divorced, they reverted to their more giving selves. If they remarried, then they went back to being less generous to their friends.

!* Signs u MUST MOVE ON *!

Looking back, Tomi Tuel is appalled at how she behaved with the guy she calls Yacht Man. “I was 33 and coming out of a divorce with two small children,” says Tuel, who is the author of 101 Things I Learned After My Divorce. “This guy was wealthy and good-looking, and he was interested in me — at first. But soon, it seemed like I was calling him a lot more than he was calling me. I would leave silly notes on his door telling him to meet me at the clock tower at 8 p.m. — stuff like that — and he’d never show. I’d go to places where I knew he hung out, hoping to run into him. I figured that if he really wasn’t into me, he would be up front and honest about it.”

Yeah, like that would ever happen. We all have a hard time telling someone we’re not interested. Guys, especially, tend to avoid the direct approach, which means that, unfortunately, you have to be on red-flag alert.

You make excuses for him
Of course, the real issue is not that you don’t see the signs — it’s that you don’t want to see the signs and consequently make all kinds of excuses for the guy’s behavior. For example, if he hasn’t called in days, you try to convince yourself there’s a good reason: “Well, maybe he lost my number. Or his phone is broken. Or he lost his cell phone and that’s where my number is. Or maybe he’s really busy at work, or he’s been in an accident, or he has laryngitis, or…”

Browse Local Singles at Match.com on Yahoo!

You dismiss bad behavior
Barbara Davilman knows all about this kind of self-foolery. Davilman, who is coeditor of What Was I Thinking? 58 Bad Boyfriend Stories, became an expert at rationalizing her ex’s bad behavior. “When I was 27, I stayed with a guy for five years even though he would see me only twice a week — specifically, on Wednesday and Sunday nights,” she says. “Plus, he didn’t have his own phone, so I had to wait for him to call me when he could.”

According to Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again, women often have a very hard time ending relationships, even if deep down they know they’re unhealthy. “They fear change, they fear being single or they think they won’t find anyone better,” says Tessina. “So instead, a woman will remind herself of a guy’s good qualities and block out the bad.”

You believe a passionate encounter always equals love
You might think that it’s just a matter of winning the guy over — and that once that’s done, he’ll be more attentive. This is what Lisa Mann, 45, was banking on with a man she dated when she was 38. “There were warning signs from the beginning, but I figured the transformative power of love — my love — was great,” she says. “We had a lot of passionate encounters, which I assumed would tone down into a mellow sort of relationship as our bond grew — but in fact, he started wanting to see me less and less, and when we did see each other, it was mostly a physical thing.”

And that partially answers the question of why a guy who’s not that into you would stick around at all. “It’s a no-commitment way for a guy to get your attention,” Tessina says.

It’s hard to face the truth and get back out there, but if you stop settling for wishy-washy men and hold your ground, you will find the right relationship eventually. (Davilman and Tuel are both married now; Mann is currently single, but enlightened.)

How to know when he’s for real
Since it bears repeating, let’s review a few of the traits that will tell you unequivocally that a guy is into you:

• His actions match his words. He doesn’t just say he loves you or wants to be with you because he thinks that’s what you want to hear; it’s obvious by the way he behaves.
• He introduces you to his friends and family within a reasonable amount of time. This indicates that he’s increasingly serious about making you part of his life.
• His behavior is consistent. He isn’t into you one week and then distant the next. His affection for you is something you can rely on.
• He tries to please you. Because he’s genuinely interested in you as well as your thoughts and feelings, he acts on that. He knows you love the color yellow, for example, so he shows up with a bouquet of yellow flowers.
• You don’t feel like you’re doing all the work, and you never find yourself making excuses for him. As psychologist Geraldine Merola Barton puts it, “The truth is, we always find time for the things we value. If he’s into you, he’ll call, period… no matter what.”

*! 6 Dating rules to Ditch !*

When it comes to dating, everyone’s an expert. Whether it’s how to split the check (the man pays), make conversation (don’t bring up marriage, kids, or your ex), or lean in for that first kiss (preferably in a doorway at the end of the night), we’ve all heard our share of solicited and unsolicited dating advice from coworkers, friends and overly friendly hairdressers. While these dos and don’ts are usually well-intentioned, they’re not always true across the board — and sometimes, just sometimes, you’ve got to break a few rules to find what you’re really looking for. Here’s a round-up of conventional ideas about dating and advice from real dating experts on why reconsidering them can actually improve your love life.

Rule #1: Never date a coworker
Obviously, there are plenty of good reasons to be cautious if you’ve fallen for someone you’ll be running into every day at the office. But unless your company handbook forbids relationships between employees, there’s no reason why you should abandon any hope of romance. “Dating people you work with makes practical sense — after all, we spend so much of our lives in the office, there’s often no other way or time to meet anyone else,” says dating expert April Masini, author of Think & Date Like a Man. Jennifer Nardella, 22, of Miami, FL, agrees completely. “My boyfriend and I met at a hospital where we both worked. I’ve always been against dating anyone at my job, so when he initially approached me, I wasn’t interested,” she says. “But over time, I realized how nice he was and we became friends. Eventually we started talking on the phone and seeing each other outside of work. Our relationship definitely added another level of pressure to my job, but we no longer work together now and I’m so glad I made an exception to my rule and didn’t pass up the chance to be with him when we did!”

Browse Local Singles at Match.com on Yahoo!

Rule #2: Rebound relationships never last
Give yourself time, they always say. While it’s healthy to mourn a relationship’s passing, that doesn’t mean you should ignore anyone great you meet while you recoup. “Not all breakups are the same,” explains Brent Atkinson, Ph.D., of The Couples Clinic, adding that some couples have mentally broken up months before things become official. “Instead of focusing on the timing of a new relationship, where you are emotionally after a breakup is a better indicator of whether a rebound relationship will work out.” Case in point: “My rebound relationship has lasted four years!” says Debbie Fraser, 27, from Philadelphia. “My boyfriend Bill and I met while I was in a rocky relationship with my ex. The more we hung out, the more Bill made me realize how bad my current situation was. It wasn’t long before my ex and I broke up. I was a little worried about jumping from one relationship to another, and I’ll admit that things weren’t smooth sailing in the beginning. My previous relationship left me feeling pretty emotionally damaged, and we had lots of issues to work through as a new couple. But with time, we got through our problems and couldn’t be happier now. It really made me realize that you shouldn’t pass up a good thing just because of timing.”

Rule #3: Never date a friend’s ex
Your friends’ exes are usually off limits when it comes to dating… but what if you felt a genuine connection with a friend’s old flame? This scenario can create a delicate situation for everyone involved, but according to Dennie Hughes, author of Dateworthy, there are ways to make it work. If you alert your pal to your feelings before acting on them, your friendship doesn’t necessarily need to suffer. Daniel Smith, 30, of New York City, had such an experience. “One night at a party, I started talking with a former girlfriend of one of my good friends,” he says. “While I always found her attractive, I never even considered dating her because I always associated her with my friend. But now that she was single (and he had moved on to someone else), she made it very clear that she was into me. When things started to look pretty promising, I decided to give my friend a call and ’fess up — and hopefully get his blessing. We’ll both admit now that it was the shortest and most awkward conversation we’ve ever had, but he thanked me for letting him know and he didn’t stand in our way.”

Rule #4: Only date one person at a time
Every so often, the stars align and several new prospects come along at the same time. But contrary to popular wisdom, you don’t have to settle for just one person. Hughes notes that playing the field is the smartest way to find what you’re really looking for. “All single people should dare to have spares,” she explains. “Most people choose one person, commit to that person, and then a few months later realize the relationship isn’t working out so he or she starts all over again. Save yourself the time by simply dating more people and staying in the game longer.” Just be sure to be honest with everyone you’re seeing, letting each one know that you’re in “dating mode” and not interested in getting exclusive yet, as Sean Divine, 25, from San Francisco did with good results. “Ever since I started dating, I’ve been a serial monogamist,” he says. “I always thought I was dating, but really I was just jumping from one long-term relationship to another. After my last breakup, I realized that if I’m going to find the right person I have to really see what my options are. So I started dating a number of people and found that it keeps things light and fun instead of getting too serious, too fast. And it also gives me a chance to really figure out what I want in a mate. By not putting all of my eggs in one basket, I find that I’m able to judge people’s character better and see what my type truly is.”

Rule #5: Wait for your date to say “I love you” first
Saying the L-word for the first time is a huge turning point in any relationship, so it’s no wonder why most people say you should wait for your partner to take the lead. But contrary to popular belief, Atkinson says there’s no hard-and-fast rule for saying those three little words. “Sharing your feelings is courageous, and people tend to be attracted to others with a fearless, ‘go-for-it’ approach to life,” he says. Instead of obsessing over whether or not to say it, Atkinson suggests just doing it. Ann Stout, 25, from New York City agrees. “My boyfriend Mark and I had only been dating for a few months when I surprised him by saying ‘I love you,’” she says. “He was going away for the weekend and when I went to hug him goodbye, the words just came out before I realized what I was saying! Instead of saying it back, he just smiled and gave me a kiss. I could tell I had caught him completely off guard, and I could feel myself blushing. All weekend long I obsessed over it and why I had been so stupid to make the first move. But when he called me after he got back in town, to my surprise, he told me he had been thinking about what I said all weekend and how happy it made him feel. Even though he wasn’t ready to say it, he wanted to let me know that it didn’t mean he cared any less for me. And when he did finally tell me he loved me a few weeks later, it was an extra-special moment because I knew he really meant it.”

Rule #6: Couples who are in love spend all their free time together
One of the perks of being in a relationship is always having a standing date to do anything, from going dancing to washing your car. But that doesn’t mean you and your partner have to be joined at the hip. Spending time apart is actually a secret of happy couples, according to Hughes. “Things like your friends, career, hobbies and interests are what make you fascinating to a new date. Oftentimes, when couples settle down in a relationship, they neglect the very things that made them interesting to each other in the first place,” she explains. To keep things fresh, nurture your life outside of the relationship, even if it means giving up a date night now and then. “When I met Mr. Right, my social life completely and suddenly changed,” says Ellen Collis, 25, of Louisville, KY. “I was so smitten that I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. I started canceling long-standing dates with friends and as the months flew by, I realized I was completely losing touch with everyone but my boyfriend. After apologizing to all of my friends, I resolved to make plans at least one night a week without my boyfriend. The time spent apart gives us something new to talk about and made us appreciate the time we spend together even more!”

^ A Keeper ^

~ Got this on Yahoo! Enjoy reading it! ~
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Recently I read this fascinating article on evil in The New York Times that reminded me of an ex-boyfriend.

The article highlighted what it called the Psychopath Checklist — a helpful list that criminal psychiatrists use to determine whether someone could be a hardcore psychopath capable of committing repeated evil and violent crimes.

These are the traits psychopaths share: glibness, extreme charm, feelings of high self-worth, pathological lying, being prone to boredom and emotional unavailability.

Ahem! All these adjectives reminded me a lot of a recent ex-boyfriend, who was an adorably charismatic, fun, active, confident guy — but in the end, turned out to be a lying cheater.

The lesson to be learned: The most important trait to look for in a partner is not sexiness, not an entertaining personality — but (UBER-AHEM!) good, strong character values.

What all this comes down to is: There’s a difference between romance and intimacy. Romance is about personality and intimacy is about character. Romance is about the lure of surface chemistry, charm — your socialized self playing with somebody else’s socialized self. It’s superficial stuff and not necessarily long-lasting. Intimacy is about connecting soul-to-soul, character-to-character — sharing your real self with someone else’s real self — and that’s what’s necessary for a solid, long-lasting relationship.
Basically, romance is all that flashy immediate gratification stuff — like yummy expensive candlelight dinners, luxurious bubble baths — but when the last bubble pops, who is that person lying next to you in a plain porcelain tub?

This is the authentic person — the one without all the fake, fancy fanfare — the one who will be there for you in ordinary times and bad times, not just in romantic times… that is, if the individual’s character is up for it.

And how do you figure out if a prospective mate’s character is up to par? Answer the following questions honestly and you’ll save yourself a lot of time by avoiding the wrong partner.

1. Is your date kind, respectful and appropriately generous to waiters/waitresses, bus drivers, sales clerks, and so on?

2. Has your sweetie confessed to any past immoral behavior: cheating, stealing, lying, inappropriate aggression? If so, how much reflection on this and desire to change has he or she shown since then?

3. Does the person you’re dating have any addictions, such as gambling or shopping (or worse)? Does he or she want to change — and working to make that change happen?

4. Does your honey have a lot of lasting friendships — or hardly any?

5. Does your date always tell stories about the bad dynamics he or she experiences with other people? Or does this person seem to get along easily, even swimmingly, with others?

6. Does your sweetie comment on news stories with a sense of empathy and awareness or, conversely, low on expressing compassion for all that is going on in this world?

7. Have you witnessed your date doing small acts of kindness (leaving a very big tip for no apparent reason, helping someone struggling with heavy shopping bags)?

8. Does your date donate time, money and energy to good causes, like charity?

9. Does your honey value self-growth — and show it by being open to hearing your grievances, accepting responsibility for problems when merited and sharing with you how much he or she values learning lessons in life?

10. Does your sweetie truly value open communication and know how to listen? When you’re upset or need nurturing, does this person deal with the problem at the speed of life... or shut down, stonewall, attack you or become condescending? Basically, a relationship will survive not because you get along really well all the time; rather, a relationship’s survival can be predicted by how your partner acts when you don’t get along. A couple is only as “strong” as how well the two individuals can deal with their weakest moments together.

Now that you know these ten key criteria, you can focus on dating people with true keeper potential... those who, if you invest in them, will pay you back with a lifetime of rock-solid love.

*!* On9 World *!*

Anabelle and Tony are a real success story — they met online and have been married for over a year. Here’s a quick recap: while visiting her sister in California, Anabelle went online — just looking for friends. She wound up meeting Tony and, after just two weeks, knew he was The One and went back home to Texas just long enough to pack up. Six months after moving to be near Tony, he proposed on her birthday and the rest is history! At a recent live chat, they talked about their experience and offered advice about online dating…

Q: How many other online dates did each of you have before finding The One, and over what period of time?
Anabelle: Mine was my first online date!
Tony: Between two different online dating services, I’d probably been dating over the course of a couple of years. I didn’t have a lot of dates, probably 10 to 15. Browse Local Singles at Match.com on Yahoo!

Q: How do you establish a rapport with someone online?
Anabelle: I guess just sending emails back and forth, asking as many questions as you can.
Tony: In our experience, we probably exchanged maybe three or four emails, but we just decided that we’d meet in a friendly environment. I don’t necessarily see the point in waiting. But just be nice and be real, be yourself.

Q: Who was the first to email? Specifically, what was in each another’s profile that attracted you?
Anabelle: I winked at Tony first. We were in the same town, five miles apart. He seemed like a normal person, easy to read. I looked for the profile to be honest, someone not being too full of himself. The picture had to be real, not fake or showing off. I was just looking for someone who was real.

Q: What did your friends and family say when you told them you met online?
Tony: Everyone’s reaction has been pretty positive. I think what we got more than anything was, “I know someone else who did that.” It wasn’t as uncommon as we thought.

Q: What advice would you give someone who has winked at or emailed several people, but has not had a lot of responses?
Tony: Maybe your profile needs work — you could get advice from a friend. Your profile could be too brief or too involved. That would seem to be the reason to me that you’re not getting responses.
Anabelle: Be patient and keep winking!

Q: What is the most important question you asked each other?
Tony: What’s your favorite beverage? [Laughter] That’s the first question I asked her. I wasn’t necessarily asking pointed questions, more just trying to get an idea of her personality. She sounded like somebody who was on the happy-go-lucky side, which I consider myself to be as well, and like it wouldn’t be work to hang out with her.

Q: How would you answer this question: Why don’t women post more than a head shot, and a small one... if that? And when you ask for a full body photo, all you ever hear is that “you’re so superficial.” Why is it like pulling teeth?
Anabelle: I didn’t have a picture when I started talking to Tony. It’s hard to put a picture out there, as a woman. We’re shyer, whereas it’s easier for a guy to ask for a picture. Girls are usually looking more for personality.
Tony: I imagine some men might not respond to a wink without a picture. But Anabelle’s message to me was not terribly forward. She said she was new to the area, she didn’t know anyone and she had no idea of what to do. She was just looking to find some interesting people to hang out with. And I know that was the truth, because as it turned out, she was living in Texas at the time and hadn’t even decided to move to California yet. At a certain point, I did, in a very appropriate manner, ask her for a photo. I said, “Can I put a face to your email?” or something like that.

Q: Tony, what was it about Anabelle that made you know she was The One?
Tony: When we first met, it was really interesting the things we clicked on. It turned out we had a similar background in the hospitality industry, and we had similar interests because of it. I could just tell that she was somebody who didn’t have a lot of drama in her life, which may seem like a silly thing to say but something I was definitely looking for. My previous marriage seemed to have quite a lot of drama, which was uncomfortable. I could sense she was a happy person without hangups, and she liked to smile. We had another couple along with us, and they fell in love with her instantly. Something Anabelle can’t really help is that everyone seems to take a liking to her very quickly.

Q: Did you continue to search on Match.com after meeting?
Anabelle: Yes, because Tony was the first person I met and I’d already paid for a month.
Tony: I had a couple of dates already set up with a different service; they were prearranged, so I was pretty frank with Anabelle and told her I had to go on these dates. I really didn’t want to go...
Anabelle: And that’s another reason why I went on all those dates!

Q: Were you both at a point in your lives when you wanted to be married, or were you truly just dating and having fun?
Anabelle: I wanted to get married.
Tony: I knew I wanted to be married again too, but I absolutely knew that I wasn’t going to settle so I didn’t put a time frame on it. I just told myself that when the right person came along, I’d know.

Q: What are some red flags in online dating?
Anabelle: When someone starts asking questions that are too straightforward, like what you look like and what you’re wearing. That’s when you know they’re looking for one thing.
Tony: I did it because I was looking for something real. I think there are probably a lot of people who get into it who aren’t looking for something like that. Make sure that you’re dealing with people that appear to be sincere.

Q: Any advice for someone who is trying online dating for the first time?
Tony: Don’t give up on it too quickly! Be patient, and don’t expect results overnight.
Anabelle: Be honest. Get straight to the point. Don’t try to be someone you’re not.
Tony: Right; tell them who you are and what you want and what you’re looking for.

Q: How happy are you now compared to when you didn’t know each other?
Tony: There is no comparison. The worst part of the day is walking out the door to go to work, and the best part is coming home at night.

~ Oooh, dat's Y he didn't call ~

When it comes to off-putting dating behavior, men commit plenty of dumb moves. He wears sneakers at a nice restaurant. He goes on and on about his boring job. He asks you pretty much nothing about yourself… and still tries for a good-night kiss at the end of the date (as if). If you find yourself on a date like this, I don’t blame you for passing on another encounter. But what about those cases where the guy does win you over… and yet never calls again? Have you ever stopped to wonder what went wrong? While you might think winning a man’s heart largely boils down to your looks, you’re wrong. Below are five key things that well-intentioned women do that make men bail. Keep them in mind as you search for your Mr. Right.

Reason #1: You talk, but don’t listen
Women are sharers. It’s culturally ingrained. You may talk to your best friend or mom five times a day and think nothing of it. Every detail is relevant, and nothing can be left out in the telling of a story. Problem is, men don’t generally communicate that way. So try to consider the ebb and flow of a normal conversation. If he hasn’t spoken in awhile, ask him a question (and not a vague “So tell me about you,” which will make feel self-conscious and put on the spot). If he’s telling a story, try doing a follow-up query instead of refocusing the spotlight on yourself (“You like to travel? Let me tell you about how I backpacked through the Amazon!”). And if it’s occurred to you that you haven’t yet learned a thing about your date, try listening for a bit. It’s not that we’re not interested in getting to know you, it’s that we’d be thrilled if you were interested in getting to know us, too.

Reason #2: You use conversation as therapy
Talking about your evil ex-boyfriend. Talking about your hatred of your job. Talking about your strained relationship with your mother. It’s not that the bad stuff is irrelevant, it’s that it’s inappropriate. Being negative might be an effective way of winning an election, but it’s not exactly endearing on a date. Even if you feel compelled to touch on such subjects, consider your tone when doing so. And consider how you’d feel if a man were to share his inner turmoil with you too soon.

Reason #3: You’re a little too enthusiastic about him
It’s normal to get excited about a date with potential. It’s normal to consider what kind of husband that date might be. It was also normal to write your grade school crush’s name on the back of your notebook… but you wouldn’t show it to him, would you? Of course not! There’s an unwritten rule in dating that governs the energy flow between a man and a woman: when one party tries too hard, the other party pulls back. If a stranger has ever bought you a costly gift on the first date or called you seven times the day after you had coffee, you know what I mean. We’re not saying you should act cold; just don’t get carried away in front of him. Keep your projections to yourself until you have a better idea whether your affections are reciprocated or not.

Reason #4: Your idea of chit-chat is politics, religion and other heavy topics
So you don’t complain about your ex, your boss or your mom. But you have a bone to pick with the President, the U.N. and the Pope. Hey, if your date is up for a surprise appearance on Meet the Press, that’s cool. Just know that not everybody likes to swim in the deep end of the pool so early. Sometimes, you’re better off sticking with banter about favorite travel spots or good movies or even funny online dates from the past. It’s not that intellectual topics should be off-limits, but until you know where someone lands on the political spectrum, you may want to tread lightly.

Reason #5: You’re not relating to him — you’re testing him
Dating should be fun. Getting to know a fascinating stranger, sharing information about yourself to an interested date… these are the things that keep us optimistic about the process. Where it all goes wrong is when you inadvertently turn him into a defendant and yourself into the prosecuting attorney. “How long was your last relationship?” “Where do you see yourself in two years?” “Do you want kids someday?” The answers to these questions are really important — they may well determine whether you choose to see him again — but great dates do not occur on a hot seat or under a microscope. Try reading between the lines instead of asking him these things point-blank.

$ Becoming YOU $

~I like reading stuff on personal growth. Maybe i should set up a motivational company for instance to replace my teaching career (d'ohhh! ahaha!).~

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We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were born to be. The only problem is that there is also so much other stuff, typically fixations with how people perceive us, how to get more of the things that we think will make us happy, and with keeping our weight down. So the real issue is how do we gently stop being who we aren't? How do we relieve ourselves of the false fronts of people-pleasing and affectation, the obsessive need for power and security, the backpack of old pain, and the psychic Spanx that keeps us smaller and contained?

Here's how I became myself: mess, failure, mistakes, disappointments, and extensive reading; limbo, indecision, setbacks, addiction, public embarrassment, and endless conversations with my best women friends; the loss of people without whom I could not live, the loss of pets that left me reeling, dizzying betrayals but much greater loyalty, and overall, choosing as my motto William Blake's line that we are here to learn to endure the beams of love.

Oh, yeah, and whenever I could, for as long as I could, I threw away the scales and the sugar.

When I was a young writer, I was talking to an old painter one day about how he came to paint his canvases. He said that he never knew what the completed picture would look like, but he could usually see one quadrant. So he'd make a stab at capturing what he saw on the canvas of his mind, and when it turned out not to be even remotely what he'd imagined, he'd paint it over with white. And each time he figured out what the painting wasn't, he was one step closer to finding out what it was.

You have to make mistakes to find out who you aren't. You take the action, and the insight follows: You don't think your way into becoming yourself.

I can't tell you what your next action will be, but mine involved a full stop. I had to stop living unconsciously, as if I had all the time in the world. The love and good and the wild and the peace and creation that are you will reveal themselves, but it is harder when they have to catch up to you in roadrunner mode. So one day I did stop. I began consciously to break the rules I learned in childhood: I wasted more time, as a radical act. I stared off into space more, into the middle distance, like a cat. This is when I have my best ideas, my deepest insights. I wasted more paper, printing out instead of reading things on the computer screen. (Then I sent off more small checks to the Sierra Club.)

Every single day I try to figure out something I no longer agree to do. You get to change your mind—your parents may have accidentally forgotten to mention this to you. I cross one thing off the list of projects I mean to get done that day. I don't know all that many things that are positively true, but I do know two things for sure: first of all, that no woman over the age of 40 should ever help anyone move, ever again, under any circumstances. You have helped enough. You can say no. No is a complete sentence. Or you might say, "I can't help you move because of certain promises I have made to myself, but I would be glad to bring sandwiches and soda to everyone on your crew at noon." Obviously, it is in many people's best interest for you not to find yourself, but it only matters that it is in yours—and your back's—and the whole world's, to proceed.

And, secondly, you are probably going to have to deal with whatever fugitive anger still needs to be examined—it may not look like anger; it may look like compulsive dieting or bingeing or exercising or shopping. But you must find a path and a person to help you deal with that anger. It will not be a Hallmark card. It is not the yellow brick road, with lovely trees on both sides, constant sunshine, birdsong, friends. It is going to be unbelievably hard some days—like the rawness of birth, all that blood and those fluids and shouting horrible terrible things—but then there will be that wonderful child right in the middle. And that wonderful child is you, with your exact mind and butt and thighs and goofy greatness.

Dealing with your rage and grief will give you life. That is both the good news and the bad news: The solution is at hand. Wherever the great dilemma exists is where the great growth is, too. It would be very nice for nervous types like me if things were black-and-white, and you could tell where one thing ended and the next thing began, but as Einstein taught us, everything in the future and the past is right here now. There's always something ending and something beginning. Yet in the very center is the truth of your spiritual identity: is you. Fabulous, hilarious, darling, screwed-up you. Beloved of God and of your truest deepest self, the self that is revealed when tears wash off the makeup and grime. The self that is revealed when dealing with your anger blows through all the calcification in your soul's pipes. The self that is reflected in the love of your very best friends' eyes. The self that is revealed in divine feminine energy, your own, Bette Midler's, Hillary Clinton's, Tina Fey's, Michelle Obama's, Mary Oliver's. I mean, you can see that they are divine, right? Well, you are, too. I absolutely promise. I hope you have gotten sufficiently tired of hitting the snooze button; I know that what you need or need to activate in yourself will appear; I pray that your awakening comes with ease and grace, and stamina when the going gets hard. To love yourself as you are is a miracle, and to seek yourself is to have found yourself, for now. And now is all we have, and love is who we are.

^ The Key ^

~I've loved Oprah & have been a subscriber to her website. Just bumped into this article&would like to share it via my blog for future reference~
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"When it comes to love relationships, things are often not what they seem," Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt write in their book Receiving Love—and you might say the two of them, marriage therapists married to each other, are their own best object lesson. Seven years ago, although they were writing best-selling self-help books, training therapists, and leading couples workshops throughout the world, their personal union was crumbling.

On the verge of divorce, they tripped over the snaky root of their discontent. "One morning, when we were most troubled," Helen says, "we were in our bedroom and I asked Harville, 'Do you believe that I love you?' Harville thought about that for a couple of seconds and said, 'No, I don't think you do.' I was distraught. I could only respond, 'Given all that I do for you and our life together, how could you not know how much I love you?'"

Harville understood that his feelings were irrational, he says, but alienation was stubbornly entrenched. No matter what Helen gave him emotionally, it had little impact because he suspected there were strings attached. "Only with time and reflection did I realize that I was not able to recognize genuine love when it was offered," he says.

As they began to contemplate the problem, in much the same way that the minute you think about having a baby, you see pregnant women everywhere, Helen and Harville noticed that a sizable number of couples they'd worked with were stuck in the same cold place. For instance, there was the wife who told her husband she needed him to express more affection—then resisted his kisses and kind words because, she said, they didn't feel genuine. Another husband admitted that when his wife offered verbal support, he shut down and didn't respond. And when a new father took time off from work to help his exhausted wife with their twins, she refused to let him do his share. "As far as I could see, she was undermining my gift of love," he complained in therapy.

The struggle to understand and ease this kind of self-inflicted isolation grew into Harville and Helen's book. "The common wisdom," they write, "is that romantic relationships would stay happy if people did a better job of giving to each other. But that's not what we've discovered. We've found that many people need to do a better job of receiving the gifts their partners are already offering. It's suprising how often the compliments, appreciation and encouragement of a well-intentioned partner make no dent in the armor of an unhappy partner.

Harville ticks off the ways we deflect what we secretly crave: by devaluing praise; by assuming the other person is insincere; by criticizing the sender of a positive message for not getting it right, not doing it on time, or not doing it often enough; by not listening; or by feeling embarrassed. We also block loving words by hardening our chest and stomach muscles.

These are difficult habits to break, say Harville and Helen, because they're often the tip of an iceberg of unconscious self-hatred, going back to childhood. Our parents invariably rejected some aspects of us, either through criticism ("Don't act that way") or inattention (ignoring, say, our anger or ambition, or even certain interests and talents). "When this happens," Harville says, "we split off those parts of ourselves and hide them in our unconscious." But although we seal them off as dangerous and bad, they never go away; instead they form what Harville and Helen call a missing self.

Over time, we deny our needs and replace them with defenses. "Then when someone values us, we have to reject him or her," Harville says. To let ourselves be cherished for who we really are would be to violate our parents' edict that we are flawed, and to arouse our fear that if we do, feel, or think certain things, we'll be neglected and abandoned—in the most primal sense, left to die. "So to receive love is to risk death," Harville says. "This drama plays out because the part of our mind that holds the parental injunction is timeless—today is the same as yesterday. None of this is conscious, but the bottom line is that we reject love in order to stay alive.

Ideally, we'd be able to pull the curtain on this inner opera and deide to accept ourselves whole. Unfortunately, that doesn't work. "You can't consciously achieve self-love by loving yourself. To end self-rejection, you have to learn to love in another what you hate in yourself," Harville insists. "If you don't know what that is, you can find out by noticing what you project onto others, what you criticize repetitively and with emotion." If, for example, you accuse your partner of being an angry person, you may have submerged your own anger. When you learn to accept the hated trait in your partner, "you will simultaneously accept it in yourself," he says. "Self-love is born out of love of another."

Simply put, what goes around comes around: You learn to love your partner, which allows you to receive more love. Heady stuff, and, as with most things worth having, there's a price. You have to give up your identity as a victim and let go of whatever payoff you've been getting from hopelessness and despair. You also have to surrender your emotional dependency on your parents and their judgments.

"This is a complicated process," Harville says, in a bit of an understatement. It's also a joint project because "when one partner rejects love, the other does also, but in different ways." That's because we tend to marry someone who is our emotional equal (with a similar childhood wound), but who has developed opposite defenses. If you wall yourself off by yelling or finding fault, he says, your spouse might distance himself by sullenly withdrawing.

Harville suggests learning to listen deeply and empathetically. "You can say, 'Tell me what happens inside you when I express love.' Then listen without criticism," he says. You might hear "I feel anxious" or a surprisingly self-deprecating remark. "If you understand and empathize—'I can imagine this feels scary to you'—a paradoxical thing happens. Your partner will view you as safe, in contrast to the unconscious memories of his caretakers as dangerous, and be more open."

Speaking as the proverbial physicians who've had to heal themselves, Harville and Helen have pronounced their marriage stronger than ever, and appear to have reached a new high. Mature love, they write, comes when each person has grown with the other's help, and when both people know how to give and receive—"it's the lifetime achievement award."

!/! A Word !/!

Words can never explain one true feelings
can never really define the exact meaning of something
can never portray the hidden intentions

however, words play an important role
in us
to start the day
to move people
to share secrets
to keep going on.

:-------------------------------------------------------------------------:

well. that's a simple poem that just came out from my mind as i wrote this. no editing is involved. straight from my heart. k, i asked my students of 5A2 to do a simple task > Think of a word, only a word that i've said or mentioned in the class that u can remember from jan till now. maybe the word has touched you or has a significant impact to your life, so far. i only want only a word from u. Next, write a poem of an A4 size about that word.

then, they started writing in maybe 20 minutes. they wrote it from their heart, good. a good exercise of letting it go. expressing things is not an easy thing to do. most people tend to just keep it to themselves. don't know why. putting everything together and making them into words are difficult task, yes, i know. but once u can get them through to other people, you've succeeded. succeeding in making your feelings or opinions or whatever is in your brain or heart out and reach other people's souls instead, it's really, really awesome. isn't it wonderful when you are able to do that? amazing right? it's truly a gift.

at first, i planned to paste the poems on the English notice board. however, some of them wrote my name in their poem. so, thinking of not wanting to be 'poyo' or 'chapub' as people nowadays might label me, i've decided to post them here, instead. so, i'll copy the poems one by one and comment on that. be updated!

*~* Boost ur brain cells *~*

What’s the name of your daughter’s teacher, and where did you put your keys again? If you’ve ever wished you could do some simple things to sharpen your memory skills, you can. We’ve talked to the experts and compiled the latest thinking on improving the muscles in your brain associated with memory.

1. Talk with your hands.It may sound strange, but waving your hands and gesturing while trying to learn a concept may help your brain remember something important, says Jeff Brown, PsyD, ABPP, coauthor of The Winner’s Brain. "Gesturing in a meaningful way while you are learning may help you when recalling the concept,” he says. “The idea is that you are storing at least two different types of information about something you'll need to recall later. A good example of this is when kids speak math problems aloud, but also 'work them' in the air.” Tactics to try: When you’ve just learned someone’s name, “write” it down on the palm of your hand with your finger. The act of tracing the letters on your palm (discreetly, of course) can help your brain remember it, says Dr. Brown. Or, “Air-write on an imaginary map of your grocery store or mall as you name aloud the items or stores you need to remember when shopping.”

~Oh, i do this, A LOT! ahaha..but not to the extent of OVERdoing it...besides, as my sisters have always labelled me as the drama queen of the family..d'ohhh, ahahaa. maybe this drama queen can always easily remember things because of this gestural habit. merci beaucoup~

2. Take a chill pill.Learning to calm down and not carry as much stress can help your brain in significant ways, says Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, PT, a psychologist and physical therapist in Wexford, Pennsylvania, and the author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness. “The best tip to improve your memory is: Reduce your stress,” says Dr. Lombardo. “Research shows that when people experience chronic stress, their hippocampus—the part of your brain that is responsible for some memories—literally shrinks in size.” In fact, a 2007 study in the journal Neurology by researchers at Rush University Medical School found that people who are easily distressed and had more negative emotions were more likely to develop memory problems than more easygoing people. How to reduce your stress? Consider delegating more tasks at work, clearing your social calendar for the weekend (there’s nothing wrong with having nothing on the calendar!) and purging negative relationships from your life.

~Yeah, chill is in my dict, for sure ;) ~

3. Get plenty of zzz’s.You’ve heard the concept of “sleeping on it” when you’re faced with a problem or difficult decision, right? Well, getting a good night’s sleep can help you improve your memory, too. "Sleep is critical for memory consolidation,” says Dr. Brown. “Getting at least six hours of uninterrupted sleep following exposure to new information can help in the recall of that information.” But there’s an important side note: “The trick is going directly to bed without inserting any new information or activity between what you want to recall and going to sleep—no reading, no TV, no sex, no music."

~ I've always believed in this. the key word here is 'a good night sleep' ~

4. Eat more fruits and veggies.Eating your spinach—and carrots and peas—is not only good for your body, it’s good for your memory, too. A recent Harvard study found that people who ate more vegetables had a slower decline of brain function as they aged. “Other studies, such as one published in Pharmacology, have shown that essential brain-boosting nutrients found in certain produce, such as quercetin and anthocyanin, may reverse memory loss,” says Tosca Reno, a health and fitness expert and author of the bestselling book The Eat-Clean Diet. You can find these compounds in cruciferous vegetables, such as Brussels sprouts, broccoli and cabbage, as well as in leafy greens, including kale, spinach and Swiss chard. Also load up on brightly colored produce such as berries, red apples, eggplant and grapes—their bright hue is an indication of their brain-boosting antioxidants.

~ Ok, i do eat veggies a lot..but i have to put more fruits into my diet ~

5. Join a book club.Not only is reading great for your brain, but discussing what you’ve read can improve your memory by leaps and bounds, says Sandra Bond Chapman, PhD. In fact, a book club with your closest girlfriends may help strengthen your brain’s frontal lobe function. “The frontal lobe is the last region of the brain to develop, but the first to decline with age,” explains Dr. Chapman. “To strengthen function of the frontal lobe, engage in deeper-level thinking activities such as interpreting what you read in a book, discussing the ‘larger messages’ in the book and pushing to see how many meanings you can derive from it.”

~ Yeah, i should be doing this though i always read..many stuff..a bit here and there ~

6. Go to yoga class.What can a downward-facing-dog pose do for your memory? A lot, says Gina Norman, a yoga teacher in New York City. “A new study out of the University of North Carolina shows that brief meditative exercise helps cognition and skills essential to critical thinking,” she says. But if you’re not into yoga, exercise of any kind works to boost your brain, says Dr. Lombardo. “Research shows that exercise increases the blood flow to all areas of your body, including the brain and specifically areas involved in memory,” she says. “One study found that mice who exercised grew new brain cells in the dentate gyrus, a part of the hippocampus which can be affected by declines in memory as we get older.” Short on time? “Try running up a flight of stairs, jogging to a bathroom that is farther away from you, doing 50 jumping jacks, putting on a great song and dancing around, or grabbing your child’s hand and jumping on the bed together.”

~ Yoga? have been practising it since 7 years ago. bravo to me! Exercising? it's a compulsory routine thrice a week ~

7. Sniff some rosemary.Parsley and sage are great, as is thyme, but when it comes to improving memory, rosemary is king. In a recent study, UK researchers looked at scents and how they boosted or detracted from mental performance. They found that office workers whose cubicles were infused with the scent of rosemary had better long-term memory than those in unscented cubes. “There are other essential oils that can help with memory, but rosemary is by far the best and most economical,” says Cher Core, an aromatherapist in Boston. “Diffuse rosemary essential oil in the air, wear it in a perfume, use it in mists and more. It is a good choice for those studying and folks who need help with memory, focus and concentration.”

~ haven't done this. should try. tq Yahoo! ~

8. Pay attention.Duh, right? It may sound obvious, but according to experts, when most people think they’re having memory problems, it’s really because they were distracted or didn’t record the information in their brain properly to begin with, says Linda Edelstein, PhD, adjunct faculty at Northwestern University and the author of The Art of Midlife. “When people cannot retrieve information it is often because they haven't taken it in in the first place,” she says. “You cannot recall information that you did not store.” The number-one trick to paying closer attention? Stop multitasking and be fully present. That means setting down the BlackBerry while lunching with your friend, turning off the TV when you’re trying to read something and not letting your eyes—or mind—wander when chatting with someone at a party. You’ll be more likely to remember the person’s name.

~ Yesss! this is absolutely, undeniably CORRECTO!!! ~

9. Learn a new song.Have you ever found yourself singing along to a song you love that debuted 10 years ago, and yet you still don’t know the lyrics? Learning the words could be fun, but it could also be good for your memory in general. By memorizing a song, “you will be working out at least two different kinds of memory, auditory and verbal, which is probably something you don't do very often,” says Cynthia Green, PhD, an expert on brain health and memory. “The research suggests that constantly challenging our brains with intellectual pursuits may boost our ‘cognitive reserve’ and can have the associated benefit of reducing our dementia risk over the long-term.”

~ have been doing this since ages! has helped in moulding my English. one of my friends suggested a modification to this. instead of memorising a song, try memorising an al-quran's surah. spiritually brilliant! ~

10. Go ahead and doodle.When’s the last time you grabbed a pencil and paper and let your mind go—drawing hearts and rainbows, or whatever scene or object popped into your head? Surprisingly, says Dr. Green, a free-flowing pen could be the key to strengthening your brain’s memory centers. “Doodling has been found in studies to boost concentration, which is an essential first step to learning and memory,” says Dr. Green. “After all, if you can't focus on information, you don't acquire it effectively, and you can never remember something you don't learn in the first place!”

~ true! true! true! but please, no vandalising, ok. ~