~Breaking the Habit~

Salam.

everyone has a habit, at least, a habit, aite. and it's hard to eliminate or even change it coz old habits die hard, as the proverb goes. well, this petite lady here, is having an issue of breaking the habit.

to some people in our society, talking too much or sharing too much is annoying. yes, i like sharing info with other people. i still remember when i was in school, i would share even the slightest info about shampoo. for me, any good info is good for people..sharing is caring, rite..but now i've realised, was i being such a smart ass in d past? hmm, if some people perceive so, what could i do about that coz it is in d past. i'm trying not 2 b that informative out of d blue after this. sharing just for the sake of knowledge.

but, it will b boring, rite? i mean, i'm not such a boring person. and my life is not that boring either. i have a colourful life and as my sister, hau would put it as having so much dramas. my family would put me as having a quite high level of confidence(org leh kate aku poyo, pdhal nye aku cume jnis yakin dgn diri sndiri je..hope xla over-confident, kn..) and having to have multiple vibes of optimistim in me. well, at least, i'm hoping to b optimistic all d way, insyaAllah..

i like entertaining people, having to put a smile onto people's face, telling them how much they meant to me, thanking them etc. i like doing that for people. just being d honest me. but i guess, that one too, need to be altered..being honest sometimes can push people away unnecessarily, when people misinterpret me; as a lady in this malay society, i shouldn't practise this kinda sincere approach when dealing with some typical, stereotypical malay men. judgemental ke aku ni? hmm..i don't have that wide social circle, i confess. i just have this small little circle of friends that i cherish the most, most of them are females. i only have a very little tiny group of male friends, in which i can count with fingers. seriously, dat few. dealing with them, dat type of men, confines my personality thus making things awkward between us while actually, if they put my friendly manner aside & accept me as i am, we could have a blast. yes, it's true that i've just suffered from a break-up but i'm not desperate of tying d knot. wat makes u think that after having that hell-of-ride, i would wanna crazily marry a guy straight away? gile ke hape? d lesson 2 b learnt here people, is that, avoid practising generalisation. not one fingerprint is the same. u r u and i m just me. if u don't understand, just ask. simple. then we can avoid miscommunication. for me, the one is on his way and i'll put a red carpet when he arrives coz he is finally here with me coz he puts us in him, always.

in fb, u would read me having to put updates after updates. yes, people can perceive me as,"minah ni xde keje len ke, asik ngadap fb je?" or "minah ni pasan sndiri la ni, asik bubuh mcm2 kt wall die" or "minah ni pasan bagusla org suke bc post die" or "minah ni sure nk org rep kt post die" and so much more.

i just love writing. i had 2 journals back then but i had burnt them all. i even came up with a novel, BM novel 2 b exact, ahah..lawak bile ingat balik. tah ne ilang novel tu..u can tell that i love freedom of speech and love mental stimulation. i am more eloquent in writing. in real life, meeting me face to face, i am only merry when it's suitable to be that. if not, i would appear 2 b serious and stern, honestly. i wouldn't b that cheerful and giddy to any strangers or in all situations. in front of the camera, yes, i can automatically put a very sweet smile. dunno y. dat's also one my habits. tp, sbb gmbo kn, it's captured and we can look at it over and over again. so for me, xkn la nk tgk muke masam kot, rite?

ok la, dat's all about it. feeling relief after sharing this, hehe. i'm done. so far. i guess, ahaha!

*Taken from fb notes, dated Thurs 16 Dec 2010*