Salam
this is impromptu. I'm writing this out of my being observant or in any other relevant word would b, my being very particular of my own issues.
one of my strengths would b my instinct. i used to have very sharp intuitive up to the extent of predicting future events for some people ie being a clairvoyant but i dare not practise that any longer so i put a period. 'Cuckoo' would b my middle name if i still have that skill (lol). some of my closests would b with me on this so-called my special and rare skill.
however, that strength has proven to be damaging for me. some said it's a blessing to have that gift. well, at first, i thought so too when it came to incidents of me helping people out of troubles etc. but now, i wanna b normal. having some trips and falls are fun too, sometimes. did i sound fake by writing that? haha. being fake is totally not me. i am just me, the optimistic naiive me. i knw somehow, i'll stand up, smile, wipe the bleed and treat the wound from that fall though it leaves scars :)
based on my readings on various non-fiction books on this issue, i've always believed that people are categorised into 3 types; the ones who are into logic, the ones who are into their desires and the ones are into intuition. analyse and try to reflect. which category do u fall into? just pick one. has it done any good or harm? maybe u need to balance things so u'll be saner :)
i WAS more into intuition, back then. but now, i've realised that i AM more into logic. however, after some pondering, my intuition has proven to have helped me a lot and it's the best gift so far, for me. the only obstacle now is, it's not that easy to channel my mind and desires to give the biggest portion of dealing with life just to my intution. yes, my closests would always argue&reason to my actions or decisions done from my heart, "are u crazy, liana? why on earth did u do that? r u sure that is the best?" though how illogical my decision was, i would always say this,"i don't have any concrete reason or evidence for doing that. i just wanna do that. i feel that's the best thing for me to do. insyaAllah it'd turn out alright.." as a matter of fact, it DID turn out as the BEST, so far.
if u've decided to follow ur heart d most, u have to really listen to urself..before that, u have to know urself. u have to really know urself. i love myself when i was younger. i wasn't corrupted with the idealistic world. i care only for myself and..my heart. but after a while, mingling with people and the world, i've made way to be logical. the thing when being logical is that, i've always questioned myself. the 8Ws and 1H are my best buds..i perceive things as objects in my head that can easily b programmed or controlled or managed and that i can b powerful as everything is in my head. yes, i've become what my mind would want me to b. and the frequent words are "right" or "wrong", there's no in between or in d middle". it's always been either black or white and no grey. honestly, being logical is not my forte. i love the intuitive me. it is more ME.
as much logical as i've been, i can't totally erase the intuitive me. sometimes i did have that in me&truthfully, my intuition has saved me a whole lot of deal in my life...guess that incident is a wake-up call for me to reverse to my pure heart and sharp intuition.
so pals, sometimes when u've overheard urself talking alone, please take a moment to listen. it might b true..well, for me, it always bears the truth, sooner or later the truth will reveal itself and that's when i'll say,"i've told myself so..(aku dah kata dah...)"
having said that, as muslims, no matter what kind of decision that we'll make or action that we'll do, it's d best that at the end of d day, Allah is d ULTIMATE for guidance etc. i know that i am not that pious by writing that down but at least, it is also a reminder for myself and hopefully for everyone else too. this is the least that i can do to bridge information and sharing knowledge to my loved ones out there. and as for me, no matter what, it's back to the basic, ur nawaitu and ur nawaitu comes from the heart..
all in all, just know urself. dig it up but don't force urself. take time to do so. and love urself. i love u guys ;)
*Taken from fb notes, dated Thurs, 21 Jul 2011*
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